I'm so sorry

Dismissing anything I do as insignificant, you basically say, "I am more important then you."Our friendship is unbalanced, like a seesaw, when all I ever do is listen to you, but you never listen to me. Every time I speak, you turn away, finding something more important. I'm just here to say, "Listen to me one last time, before you won't have to listen to me anymore."

Whenever I'm gone, you are happier. All I ever seem to do is bring you down. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you, so sorry for the trouble I've brought with me. But now you won't have to deal with that anymore, because I'm leaving. Now you can go and enjoy your life, without having me to deal with.

I've done this before, broken off a friendship, and it didn't end well for me. All your friends ganged up on me, even though it wasn't their battle to fight. I should've told them to shove off, but I stayed silent, and let them crush me into nothing. Now, I'm going to do it again, and I'm scared. I'm scared of how you'll react, how you'll friends will pummel me. But this time, I'll stand up for myself and tell them to take a hike, because this isn't their battle to fight. My fight is with you.

I am prepared for loneliness, until I find new friends. I'll sit alone, because probably no one will want me after word gets around. I'll hum my songs and write my poems, so please leave me alone, because I don't want this to be more difficult for either of us. We've had 7 solid years of friendship, and I enjoyed that. But now it's time for us to part, so I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Maybe someone will notice...

They walk on by,
You're in the background, never noticed

They make decisions without you,
Hopping a train to the next station, neglecting to get you a ticket

Left behind, all alone
But life keeps moving

Running at a sprint to keep pace
But you're getting tired, steps getting slower

Dropping farther and farther behind,
Missing increasingly important things

Never able to catch up,
To get a step ahead; always a step behind

Sprinting with sacks full of worries,
Things everyone else hasn't thought of

Leaden with stress and grief
Weighing you down with every step

Just give up, give in
Stop and save yourself
And maybe someone will notice

Disappointment

Disappointment washes over me
Both inside and out
Destroying me, reducing me to nothing

I fight back tears
Blinking fiercely in defense

A voice follows me around
Torturing me with cruel words

I can't escape it
Though I want to fight it

Fear pummels me,
Bringing me to my knees
Leaving me defenseless

I crumble from inside out
Self-esteem gone, never there

How can I survive?
I hang my head
Shame overpowering my will

I am helpless
Nothing to protect me from my mind
I wallow in self-pity, wondering how I'll recover

I square my shoulders
Bringing my head up
Determined to succeed this time

The thing no one ever hears

No one listens to you
You're the wind in the background
Just a wisp, there one second, gone the next

You're invisible to everyone
Just the backdrop of the play

They're all caught up in their own little world
In a bubble of words

You try to break through to them
But the walls are impenetrable

They talk about you like you're not there
Even when you're standing not 5 feet away

You're the wind in the background
The backdrop of the play
The thing no one ever hears
Though you're the loudest thing there

WOW: Nature

The branches spin upward
Yearning for sunshine and light

The wind rustles through the leaves,
Peaceful as wind chimes

The sun shines through the branches,
Dappling the ground

The birds cheep lazily
Flitting from branch to branch

The leaves fall,
A waterfall of color

There is a calming aura spreading
Influencing everything in its grasp

The tree shields me from malevolent things
Like an umbrella of peace over the land

Never ending cycle

You smile and wave
Seeming like everything's ok

But when you're alone,
You crash and burn

You cry all night
Mourning in silence

In the morning,dry your tears
Happy and ecstatic today

No one ever finds out
They all can't see the truth

You hide from everyone
Because no one will ever understand

Teased by everyone
About your awkwardness, obscurity

Pain, humiliation, shame
The center of your life

Ever falling, ever falling,
Never able to get out
Of the never ending cycle of horror, grief and shame

The cliff's edge

They gang up on you,
Making you feel insignifigant
They push you towards the cliff's edge
With a sheer drop to your death

You try to persuade them,
But they overpower you
They won't listen to your reasoning,
Saying, "guilty until proven innocent"

They push you ever closer to the cliff edge
You try to push back,
But it is futile
You are not strong enough to fight

They won't stop for anything
Not food, not warmth, nothing
Everything you do, they feed off of,
You're supplying them with a never ending source of humilitation

You don't want to give in
But that's the only way you can pull through
You can't accept your fate,
Not when it will go on forever

They sneer at you,
Laughing at your pain
Not caring about how you feel
Not caring about anything except themselves

You look at the bottom of the cliff
Wanting to end it on your terms
You look back at your life
Close your eyes and jump