You

You make me feel insignificant,
making me feel small.

You are the one with the power,
the power to crush or save me.

You are the one that holds my heart,
My heart which is made of glass,
Easily shattered into pieces.

Stop making me feel small,
Because it's you you're torturing.

Save me,
Because without your help, I will not live.

Let go of my heart,
Because it's your heart you're holding.

If you stop,
I will forgive you.

If you don't,
I will die.

Escape

I escape
into my books,
running,
fleeing,
from my life,
from the stress,
from all the problems.

The bad things of my life
crowd around me,
threatening to swallow me alive.

I escape,
letting fake lives,
fake adventures,
sweep me away,
temporarily solving all my troubles,
temporarily pausing my life.

When the book ends,
the last page is turned,
the final word is read,
reality returns,
And my life resumes.

What You Don't Know

You don't realize
everything that's been going on.
You don't realize
how you've been treating me,
these last few weeks.
You don't realize
how far you've pushed me away.

We used to be so close,
when we were young.
Now,
I feel like an outcast.
The one that doesn't belong.

You found new friends,
moved on,
while I was left behind,
choking on your dust.

Your friends
pushed you away from me,
isolating me,
without even trying.

You haven't noticed
that I've been retreating into my books,
finding sanctuary from you and your friends.

You don't know
how what you've done
has affected me.

What you don't know,
Is everything,
And it's killing me.

Zaniness

Drumming on the table,
Or swinging our legs,
Zaniness is everywhere.

Whether we notice or not,
It is there.
Whether we like it or not,
It is there.

We might not notice it,
Or notice it
And just not acknowledge it,
Zaniness is everywhere.

It creeps into our lives,
Declaring itself present,
For a class called, "Our lives"

And though it might be our worst enemy,
Distracting us from our daily lives,
Or our best friend,
Keeping us occupied,
Even in the worst of situations.
Whatever role it takes in our lives,
We need to accept it,
For what it is,
Or it will never leave us alone.

We need to accept
That zaniness,
Quirkiness,
Strangeness,
Or all around weirdness,
Is just going to be a part of our lives,
From start to finish.
From the time we wake,
To the time we fall asleep forever.

We need to stop trying to cut it out of our lives,
Because,
Frankly,
Zaniness,
Is like a cockroach.
It is indestructible!

We will never cut it out fully,
Because,
Without it,
We are nothing.

Nothing is enough

I am confident,
I am happy.
But only on the outside.

It is only an act,
A way to cover the pain I'm in,
The suffering, the torture.

You have tortured me for years,
But only now realized what was happening.
You only now realized the truth,
What was going on behind the scenes.

I put up a wall,
Impenetrable,
Yet so flimsy.
It is like one way glass,
Visible through one end,
But only one end.

Make no mistake,
I have fought back,
Through violence,
Through words,
But you never got the message.

The message I was sending,
Telling you to stop,
That I was dying inside.
Even though you have noticed,
Noticed my pain, what you have done,
It is not enough.
It is not enough to make you stop.

Every word you say,
It is like an arrow to my heart.
It is like poison to my blood,
Killing me slowly,
But unable to be seen by others.

I have tried everything,
From avoidance,
To violence,
But you always creep back into my life.

I know if I take the battle to you,
Showing you exactly what you've put me through,
You might stop.
The thing is,
You've already seen it all.
And you're still doing it, torturing me.

I am everything/I can be anything

The pages sigh,

A gentle sound,

While the words fly off the page,

Wrapping me in an imaginary world,

Delving me into an alternate fantasy.

I am a dragon,

I am a human,

I am a werewolf,

I am a goddess,

I am an alien,

I am everything.

The words spin around me,

Creating a bubble,

Cutting me off,

From my life,

Ending the anxiety, the stress

I can be a vampire,

I can be a hero,

I can be an animal,

I can be an archaeologist,

I can be me.

I can be anything.

I end the journey, the adventures,

The hardships, the terrors,

The joys, the discoveries,

I end the book,

Close the pages,

And return to reality.

The Train Station

At the train station,
My friends get on the train,
And the conductor yells,
"Final Boarding Call!"

I hurry to get on the train,
But I am pushed away.

As the train starts,
My friends say,
"We'll meet you at the next station."

So I walk to the next station
And wait.

They never come.

When the train rushes through the station,
They yell,
"At the next station!"
 Their screams swallowed by the wind,
Just like my hope.

I walk to the next station,
and wait.

They never come.

So I quit.

I walk away,
Away from them,
From the train,
From the station,
Away from promises as fickle as the wind.

I walk away from the chase,
The monkey in the middle,
I am the chaser, the monkey.

I get on the next train without them.
Leaving the train station,
To the next stop in my life.

Isolated

Sometimes I feel isolated,
Holed up in my room,
When everybody else is outside.

While I do homework or read,
They laugh and talk,
Of things I'll never know,
Because I was in my room.

Then, when I finally emerge,
I do things I'm not supposed to do,
Things that they talked about,
While I was in my room.

I get blamed for things I didn't know,
Things I didn't understand,
Things I never realized.

Sometimes I feel like I'm an anchor,
Like I'm only holding them back.

Sometimes I feel like they're on a train,
While I'm still at the station.

I feel like I'm stuck in cement,
While life goes on without me.

I can never quite catch up,
Even when they stop for me.

And so,
I end up
Holed up
In my room,

Isolated from my life.