Nothing is enough

I am confident,
I am happy.
But only on the outside.

It is only an act,
A way to cover the pain I'm in,
The suffering, the torture.

You have tortured me for years,
But only now realized what was happening.
You only now realized the truth,
What was going on behind the scenes.

I put up a wall,
Impenetrable,
Yet so flimsy.
It is like one way glass,
Visible through one end,
But only one end.

Make no mistake,
I have fought back,
Through violence,
Through words,
But you never got the message.

The message I was sending,
Telling you to stop,
That I was dying inside.
Even though you have noticed,
Noticed my pain, what you have done,
It is not enough.
It is not enough to make you stop.

Every word you say,
It is like an arrow to my heart.
It is like poison to my blood,
Killing me slowly,
But unable to be seen by others.

I have tried everything,
From avoidance,
To violence,
But you always creep back into my life.

I know if I take the battle to you,
Showing you exactly what you've put me through,
You might stop.
The thing is,
You've already seen it all.
And you're still doing it, torturing me.